It's all me, me, me...

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Vivre Sa Vie
London, United Kingdom
Well hello there. My name is Viv (well, it's not really), and, like a lot of people, I'm ever so slightly neurotic... I have panic attacks and anxiety (ranging from mild to pretty intense), on and off. I also have an amazing and quite high-profile job, so I'm choosing to remain anonymous on here. Not because I'm ashamed of the aforementioned neuroses, but because I don't want to be googled and for my colleagues to read bizarre posts about me breathing into a paper bag and popping lorazepam. I've worked for bookshops, mixed arts festivals and charities, and have met (and still meet!) a lot of famous, fetching and fantabulous people for my job. (See, anxiety doesn't need to stop you being AWESOME and doing what you want to do) Here's hoping you'll find some helpful hints and tips on here which will help you tackle the evil panic heebiejeebs... PS. I'm an Australian, but I live in the UK, and have adopted tea-drinking, pubs, Wodehouse, and a Welsh man.
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Tuesday 10 April 2012

Some not-particularly-interesting things that happened this Easter...

'Do I feel demeaned by this? Yes, yes I do. But somebody's gotta pay for my ten-a-day Creme Egg habit'

1. I finished the last of the Potters. Totally bereft. Wish I was a wizard. Wish I got to hang out at Hogwart's, being twelve, doing spells. And stuff. Real life seems a bit dull and uninspiring.

2. Started reading Sara Benincasa's Agorafabulous - which is an AWESOMELY hilarious account of one lady's descent into full-blown, room-bound, peeing-in-bowls agoraphobia (and her incredibly brave and equally hilarious clamber back out of it).

3. Cleared out my wardrobe and discovered some pre-Pregabalin (awesome anti-anxiety drug I will talk about soon) jeans, that look like they would only fit a starved midget. How was I ever so thin? I'm not fat now by any stretch, but the Pregabalin definitely plumped me up a bit, and I couldn't even barely get my toe in these jeans. Feel weirdly jealous of my lithe and calm younger self.

4. Bought an achingly-trendy duck light I've been coveting for months. Is fabulously vintage-looking and glowy. Boyfriend thinks it's sinister. I have to admit its eye is beadier than I thought it would be. Hope it doesn't freak me out when I wake up with panic attacks, as it was meant to be a nice comforting thing for that exact situation.

5. Woke up feeling strangely apprehensive, nervous and a bit sad every morning for no apparent reason. I think my anxiety gets worse when I have time off and nothing planned, and I get a jolt of panic when I suddenly think I've got nothing to do with myself. Reminder to myself to do a morning anxiety tips section on here, as I think that's a pretty common thing.

6. Made plan to make more plans. I have a bad case of planophobia (friend and boyfriend diagnosed). I hate to make arrangements in advance, as I hate feeling trapped and like I can't escape from stuff, so my friends secretly arrange dates with me with my boyfriend, and he springs them on me like they're spontaneous, and everything works swimmingly. Apart from the fact that sometimes it really pisses them off and drives them crazy, which I completely get. So I'm turning over a new anti-anxiety leaf to just screw it and make plans and ask for forgiveness if I want to pull out for whatever reason. Will keep you updated on how that goes...

7. Ate too many Easter eggs and worried about sugar/caffeine anxiety bomb, but was miraculously OKAY. Pheeeeyew.

Hope all is good with you guys, and you made it through the Easter weekend unscathed by panic demons or cocoa-based anxiety bombs. Will post a new anxiety hero very soon...




2 comments:

Rosie said...

Look, you just need to keep checking the post box, you can't be sure that Hogwarts won't branch out into mature students.

Vivre Sa Vie said...

You are so RIGHT Rosie! I'm going to check my mail RIGHT NOW x

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