|'YES! Yes I am!'|
Greetings from a small, Viv-shaped Prozac nation!
My six months without antidepressants have been fairly hellish, so I finally surrendered and went to see my almost-hot psychiatrist who recommended a trial of Prozac. Cue much grinding of teeth and general nervousness. 'Me? On Prozac? Sounds so 'Girl Interrupted'! Why can't my brain do it itself goddamnit?! Why can't I just RELAXXX??!!' etc etc. Although pills aren't for everyone, there's no doubt that medication has provided a lifeline for millions of people around the world (myself included), and sometimes you've got to come to terms with needing a little help. See this article for a really clear-headed and inspiring take on an often maligned and misjudged thing.
I've been taking them for a week now, and...guess what?! They've made everything much, much worse! You've got to laugh - it is quite funny. Apparently they can do that (i.e. make you feel like you want to jump out of your skin for the first couple of weeks) before they make you better. If they make you better.
I'm so bloody anxious, I could gnaw off my arm. I've been teetering on panic a number of times a day, and just feel jittery and speedy. I had two days of really bad nausea, which has now improved to simply not fancying eating anything apart from beige food. With cheese on top.
I'm persevering, because apparently I could exit the tunnel into bright daylight any day now. Please hurry up that day!
I have to remember that:
1. This will pass.
2. Sometimes the darkest night is just before the dawn.
3. Whatever happens, I can and will cope.
4. This will pass (again).
It's been a long old time in the tunnel, and I really just want to feel a bit better soon.
Whilst I'm waiting, I am consuming approximate 1kg of Rich Tea biscuits daily, laughing at the brilliant Twenty-Twelve spoof documentary, having loads of hugs, trudging into work in the snow, and crying into my decaf tea.
See? There are always bits of sunshine, even when things are shitty.
|'It'll wash your blues away! Or make you feel so anxious you feel like you can't breathe! Yay!'|