It's all me, me, me...

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Vivre Sa Vie
London, United Kingdom
Well hello there. My name is Viv (well, it's not really), and, like a lot of people, I'm ever so slightly neurotic... I have panic attacks and anxiety (ranging from mild to pretty intense), on and off. I also have an amazing and quite high-profile job, so I'm choosing to remain anonymous on here. Not because I'm ashamed of the aforementioned neuroses, but because I don't want to be googled and for my colleagues to read bizarre posts about me breathing into a paper bag and popping lorazepam. I've worked for bookshops, mixed arts festivals and charities, and have met (and still meet!) a lot of famous, fetching and fantabulous people for my job. (See, anxiety doesn't need to stop you being AWESOME and doing what you want to do) Here's hoping you'll find some helpful hints and tips on here which will help you tackle the evil panic heebiejeebs... PS. I'm an Australian, but I live in the UK, and have adopted tea-drinking, pubs, Wodehouse, and a Welsh man.
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Monday, 19 March 2012

Like a Weeble from the ashes...

Victory is mine, my friends!

Just in case you were thinking of sending me an emergency care package of paper bags and pills (and perhaps an award for outstanding alliteration), I can now exclusively reveal the sequel to Thursday's plaintive pre-travel post.

*Clears throat nervously* 

I, uh, had a fantastic time. 

A couple of panic attacks here and there, and a bit of pill popping, but overall everything was wonderful and shiny and amazing and fabulous. Who would've thunk it? Certainly not old jitter-bowels Viv.

I was chatting to the boyfriend about it - describing my triumphant return from the panic spiral, and I said: 

'I'm like one of those things, you know, those things that keep on boinging back...what are they called?

'A phoenix?'

'No, a round, squat thing - the pushy-over things that you can never push over completely'

'A weeble? 

'Yes! A weeble! Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!'

'Really? I see you as more of a beautiful phoenix, rising from the ashes...'

'No. A weeble. I feel more like a weeble. I am a surprisingly resilient, surprisingly svelte, surprisingly wobblesome-but-never-falling-down weeble'

So there you have it kids. You can pick your side - phoenix or weeble - depending on your tastes, but the result is still the same. Every day you pick yourself up and keep on plugging on, your triumphant inner phoenix/weeble soars. 

So take that to the war against panic bank and bank it!

Repeat after me: 'I am a weeble warrior not a feeble worrier...'


Anonymous said...

works *hangs head in computer based shame*

Vivre Sa Vie said...

You made it! Welcome to the wonderful world of weebles and weevils. Give me some feedback lovely lady - it's whisper quiet on the old comments boards at the moment...

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you had a lovely time. Its so annoying. I was like you, I used to be life and soul of the party now I sit worrying about going to a friends house for tea. Grrrrrrrr. I think you are right though, its like the train journey you had(or getting back on a horse) We just have to keep doing it and then it will become normal again.
(i am lying on sofa watching horror films at 2.13 so am not doing much practising!)xx

Vivre Sa Vie said...

Eeek, what are you doing watching horror films woman?! You really want to feel more terrified than you already do?! Get thee off that sofa Ms Posie, or at least watch something lovely and beautiful and funny instead!

I have banned myself from watching (or reading) anything remotely scary - I genuinely think it's helped, so I highly recommend. And remember - your friends love you as you are - so don't feel worried or ashamed about your anxiety when you're with them. They are a safe place to be!

Anonymous said...

Oh its okay, I am not on sofa with anxiety. I am on sofa with broken leg...which is FAR more preferable to broken leg.
Funnily enough I have no anxiety at all about broken leg or the three days in hospital that occured from it and everything else that goes along with it. But the thought of a family party in two weeks fills me with dread. Go figure.

sara crowley said...

Weeble was my school nickname, which I was mortified by. I took it to mean I was small and round and was very upset, however, looking at photos of that time shows me I was tiny, super tiny, no fat at all, so, I don't quite understand why. Maybe I was good at not falling over! I preferred my other nickname - Crasher Crowley - given because of my awesome Rounders swing!

Vivre Sa Vie said...

@Anonymous - Get well soon lady, and best of luck with the family party (I prescribe champagne and rescue remedy, in large quantities).

@Sara - Crasher Crowley - how awesome! I will try to encourage our mutual friends to start calling you that from now on. I didn't really have any nicknames at school, so am quite envious of your fabulous one.

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