It's all me, me, me...

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Vivre Sa Vie
London, United Kingdom
Well hello there. My name is Viv (well, it's not really), and, like a lot of people, I'm ever so slightly neurotic... I have panic attacks and anxiety (ranging from mild to pretty intense), on and off. I also have an amazing and quite high-profile job, so I'm choosing to remain anonymous on here. Not because I'm ashamed of the aforementioned neuroses, but because I don't want to be googled and for my colleagues to read bizarre posts about me breathing into a paper bag and popping lorazepam. I've worked for bookshops, mixed arts festivals and charities, and have met (and still meet!) a lot of famous, fetching and fantabulous people for my job. (See, anxiety doesn't need to stop you being AWESOME and doing what you want to do) Here's hoping you'll find some helpful hints and tips on here which will help you tackle the evil panic heebiejeebs... PS. I'm an Australian, but I live in the UK, and have adopted tea-drinking, pubs, Wodehouse, and a Welsh man.
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Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Wednesday's anxiety shopping list...

'Oh, good lord...not my itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot bikini...'

A list of today's sunny anxieties.

1. Blog performance.

The awesome, amazing, hilarious, superb Jon Ronson tweeted about my blog (yes, I can now die happy), and now thousands of people are looking at it, and I'm petrified of what to write next. I am exceptionally talented at managing to turn a good thing: 'brilliant writer I have admired for years endorses my writing' into a bad thing: 'thousands of people looking at my blog and, oh God, what if I can't think of anything funny to say, oh my God no' etc.

2. Shark attacks.

I was thinking about shark attacks on the train this morning. Seriously. And wondering about how I felt about the statistics - i.e. even if it is very rare, do I still want to take the chance, are they odds I would gamble on, and would I be particularly bad at coping in that being-eaten-alive sort of situation (i.e. worse than a non-anxious person), and just generally about how awful it would be to be eaten by a shark, and how I would very, very, very much not like that to happen. (Not sure why this came up, but think it was a combination of the sun coming out, and an ad for a holiday to Sharm el Sheik (Sharm el Shark) that did it.)

3. Kidnappings.

In a similar vein, I was thinking about kidnappings in Mexico (I'm going in September), and wondering if it happened, if my kidnappers would let me get a prescription for Xanax (seriously), and if they would let me call my family, and if I would just die of fright and craziness before anyone stumped up the money for me. 

4.  Spiked Latte

I ordered a decaf coffee and entertained the vague, back-of-the-mind worry that the barista might have got the coffees mixed up by accident, so I said 'yes, can I have the DECAF coffee' please (with strong emphasis) and then when she brought it over, said 'great, is that my DECAF coffee? Thanks so much' (with strong emphasis). And then felt a bit of a freak. 

In other news, it is a beautiful day, and I just got a little bit toasted in the sun ('oh no, that will increase my chances of skin cancer' etc etc etc ad infinitum...)

'Goodness, I hope he lets me pop into the pharmacy on the way to the kidnapper's lair...' 


Rosie said...

I worry if there was nuculear holocaust or the like how would I get my prescriptions for Diazapam and Citalopram.
Don't worry I have decided I would break into a pharmacy.
If I was you I would make sure kidnappers know to ask for medication as part of your randsom.

Vivre Sa Vie said...

Rosie - I'm so delighted to hear your mind works in the same ridiculous ways as mine. Give me a call come armageddon and we'll do a daring pharmacy raid together.

Anonymous said...

What is the protocol at work if you get nabbed by kidnappers or Somali pirates? do you have to ask a pirate for a sick note, addressed to the HR department?

Vivre Sa Vie said...

Wow - good point - I like that you think of everything! Maybe whilst they drop me off at the pharmacy I can get them to stick some cut out magazine letters on a piece of paper saying 'Viv is currently indisposed in a pirate's lair. Please expect a modification of daily duties until further notice'.

Seeing as my kidnappers are the obliging sort, I'm sure they won't mind (although they'll probably be beginning to wish they hadn't kidnapped such a neurotic person...)

Anonymous said...

The decaf thing is very familiar to me.

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